When Memories Become Memories
An unbreakable commandment in the house was a clean-up every Saturday morning. Despite having an assignment, Hannah had to do her part of the cleaning. With a slight murmur, she barged into the stuffy room for a thorough cleaning, an instruction her mother gave her.
As she began to sort through old clothes, worn-out shoes, and torn books, she noticed the dust swirling around her, making her cough uncontrollably. Hannah quickly put on a nose mask to prevent falling ill. Then, she made her way to the next corner but stopped as her eyes landed on an old, abandoned box that had been collecting dust for years.
“What could be in here?” she whispered.
Hannah opened the box, revealing a bunch of wilted flowers. A little frown came across her face, and she wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Who would keep these ugly flowers? Unbelievable, “ she wondered.
As she dug deeper into the box, Hannah found an old photograph. The picture showed a beautiful woman and a young man standing together, their hands clasped. They seemed like a young couple. Hannah’s curiosity got the better of her.
“Who are these people?” she asked herself.
Immediately, Hannah ran down the stairs in search of her mother. She wasn’t in the kitchen or on the balcony.
Just then, the entrance door was pushed open forcefully, startling Hannah. Her mother, Thelma, walked in with a big basket of fruits. Hannah watched as her mother shut the door with her legs, a habit that annoyed her.
“Mom, must you always do that?” Hannah asked angrily. “Can’t you just call out for help or knock on the door?”
Thelma ignored Hannah’s questions, focusing on arranging the fruits in the fridge. “Hannah, I heard you run down the stairs. Didn’t I tell you not to do that anymore? Didn’t I tell you it was dangerous?” She reminded her daughter.
Hannah ignored her mother’s warning, her curiosity still burning. She held up the old photograph and asked, “Mom, who are these good-looking people?”
She watched her mother’s expression soften as she took the picture from her hand and stared directly at it for a while.
“That’s me and my first love,” Thelma said with a faint smile on her lips. “We took this photo at my matriculation ceremony.”
Hannah’s eyes flashed with shock, and her mouth was wide open as she stared at the old photograph. The difference between her mother’s present appearance and her past self was incredible. In the photo, Thelma looked amazingly beautiful, with a youthful glow, clear skin, and a bright smile.
“Wow, how time flies,” Hannah exclaimed. “You guys look really in love.”
Thelma nodded sadly. “Yes, we loved each other deeply, but unfortunately, our love didn’t last. If someone had told me back then that Paschal and I wouldn’t be together today, I wouldn’t have believed them.”
Hannah’s eyes and brow furrowed. “Do you mind telling me why Paschal, unluckily, didn’t become my father?
Thelma smiled, taking a trip down memory lane to twenty-four years ago.
She had met Paschal on social media. They were just friends at first, who discussed random things, but soon, their conversations sparked a romantic connection. Paschal had fallen in love with her first, drawn to her intelligence and beauty.
Despite his fear of rejection and the risk of damaging their friendship, he confessed his feelings to her. She, however, was hesitant to enter a relationship at such a young age, and she turned him down.
The rejection hit Paschal hard, but he refused to give up. He bombarded her with love messages, using his superficial charms to woo her.
His efforts were pressuring, and it left her with no room to reject further. She reluctantly accepted, looking forward to their break-up soon. Eventually, she found herself falling harder for Paschal.
Thelma chuckled at her innocent younger self, who didn’t know anything about love, yet her heart skipped a beat when she thought of him. Meanwhile, Hannah was silent, staring at her mother. Her eyes indicated the story to be continued.
Furthermore, Thelma continued on her first meeting with Paschal during her Matriculation ceremony, where Paschal traveled to see her. Although they were in a long-distance relationship, it wasn’t a barrier.
The moment they laid eyes on each other, they felt an undeniable connection. Their smiles sparkled with love, and their first touch was magical. To them, they were the only ones on the planet Earth; other things were nonexistent.
Hannah rolled her eyes at her mother’s habit of exaggerating things. She could believe every other thing, but not that about her mother’s love being like a romantic drama. It couldn’t be real.
Thelma shook her head dismissively and went on.
Paschal gazed at her, clutching her hands. “You are naturally gifted with beauty, and I think you’re the reincarnation of Aphrodite,” he said softly.
Thelma stated the exact words loudly for Hannah to hear, embracing her hands to her heart. Hannah smiled dearly at her mother. This wasn’t an exaggeration. Her mother was exceptionally beautiful; even the wrinkles on her face couldn’t hide it away.
The day after the matriculation ceremony, they both went on their first date. As they spent more time together, she noticed something attractive. Paschal unintentionally mimicked her habits. The way he ate, laughed, and even rolled his eyes was similar to hers.
The day began to draw to a close, and reality set in. They were destined to be apart, separated by distance. Paschal had to return home, leaving her with a heavy heart.
“Don’t worry, my love,” Paschal whispered, his voice gentle. “We may be apart, but our hearts will always be connected. I promise you, no matter what life throws our way, we’ll always be together.”
Hannah could feel the weight of those words. It sounded genuine and pure. Then, she observed the sadness in her mother’s eyes, and she felt it too, in her heart.
Thelma sniffed loudly, collecting the tissue handed over to her.
Everything went back to how it started. Just like every healthy relationship, theirs faced with ups and downs. They laughed together, argued, fought, and made up.
But on one fateful day, their love was put to the test. It was her birthday, and Paschal didn’t call or text her until late at night. She was worried sick and finally called him, only to discover that he had intentionally avoided her. He held a grudge against her for her disrespectful behavior towards him the previous day.
Tears streamed down her face that night. The pain hurt deeply in her heart, overwhelming her. The argument had worsened, and the night ended with both of them at each other’s throats, hatred simmering in their hearts.
Hannah couldn’t help but interrupt her mother. She believed that her mother had every right to get angry because it hurts to be ignored on your most special day by someone you love, and such shouldn’t be tolerated.
“Han, calm down. Our fight didn’t last. It subsided the next day.” Thelma said.
“Why? I don’t think I could forgive such.” Hannah blurted.
“Han, listen to me. Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” Thelma corrected. “I didn’t want to become a prisoner, so I forgave him. Besides, it takes a strong person to say sorry, and Paschal did.
Hannah nodded in affirmation to her mother’s words.
Despite the storm between them, their love endured. They had only met once, but their connection was unbreakable. Time went on, and the connection began to crack. Paschal’s interest began to fade. He became distant, rarely calling or texting. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.
“Depression took hold of me,” Thelma said to Hannah.
As Hannah looked at her, she saw her mother’s eyes downcast, and she observed the pain in her voice.
Young Thelma wet her pillow every night with tears. She would stare all day at their lovely chats and photos taken, jerking her tears the more. She wanted to visit, but she had no idea where he lived. This realization of her ignorance was like a blow. She had loved him for so long, yet she knew so little about him. She didn’t know his close friends or family members. She felt foolish.
For months, she dwelled in her sorrow, hoping for Paschal to return to her. But he never did. Perhaps, he had found someone better or simply sought freedom from their motionless relationship. She had no answers. At that, she decided to move on and heal, though it wasn’t easy.
Hannah sighed. “You mean you didn’t know the reason he left?”
Thelma kept quiet for a while, and then she sighed. "I often listen to my instincts, and they told me that he was tired of our relationship. Maybe our long distance finally became a barrier."
“That must have been tough,” Hannah said, her tone so gentle.
Thelma picked up the photograph and gazed into it. “Even without this photo, our memories together can never be forgotten. However, it's okay to always let go."
Hannah got up from the sofa and hugged her mother. “I’m sorry your first love ended up that way. I’m glad you were able to heal. However, I learned from a book that experience is a great teacher. You learn and grow each day because it never stops.”
Thelma stroked Hannah’s chubby cheeks, their smiles beaming at each other.
Together, they gathered the old photograph, the wilted flowers that were part of her memories, and the other useless items. They lit a fire, watching as the flames burned the remainder of Thelma’s past. A sigh of relief escaped their lips.